Girl gymnasts now have to share a changing room with boy gymnasts who identify themselves as female. Back in my day, we had to drill a hole in the wall....
My mate has been arrested for theft in PC World. He blames his doctor for telling him to keep taking the tablets..
My mate claims to have invented battery-operated spoons. He thinks they’ll cause a bit of a stir in the market...
My wife was stung on her face earlier by a wasp. She's at the hospital now as her face is all swollen and bruised. In fact she almost died. Luckily I was close by to be able to hit the wasp with a spade
Things have now reached the stage where the wife and I have gone our separate ways and will be spending a considerable time apart for the indefinite future. She’s shopping for shoes.....
The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed 'to exercise the Papal wrist', and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy seed flying through the air. 'Hold on a minute!', said the Pope, 'You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!' 'This is my big lottery win,' said the photographer, 'I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!' So the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer. After much negotiation they eventually settled on a figure of 2,000,000 Euros. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff she noticed the camera and said, 'That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?' Not being one to lie, the Pope replied,'... two million Euros...' 'TWO MILLION EUROS!' replied the housekeeper. ' - They must have seen you coming'
My mate said he hates going to marriage counselling, his wife keeps bringing up his premature ejaculation. She says it gets on her tits..
