Viagra is now available in tea bags. They don't improve your sexual performance, but your biscuit will never go soft...
Can someone tell me if it's true that fishermen put maggots in their mouths in order to to warm them up? Awaiting a reply with baited breath!
I got an honours degree in calligraphy. To be honest I don't think it's going to help me get a job… But it looks good on paper!
My wife said there was no longer a spark between us………….so I tasered her!!! I'll ask her again when she wakes up.
There’s new self-deprecation society in town and they’re recruiting new members.........I've already put myself down
Excuse my rant but I'm absolutely fuming ...... My son was sent home from school yesterday. He has been suspended for running around the girls toilets waving his willy around. Idiotic yes but it seems he had done it for a bet. Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone too far. However, he was having none of it and has stuck by the suspension. Still irate, I asked the head if he would rather have him thieving and smashing the school up like others I could mention. "No", he said, "I would rather have him teaching the year 5 Geography class like he is employed to do".
My mate's wife asked him if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner. So he took the batteries out of the smoke alarm..
Did you know that God made most of the human body really quickly. Apart from the nipples though…………he was tweaking them for ages.
