Joke Page

My wife ran off with the milkman this morning.

Watching them drive away on his float was the worst three hours of my life!

 

A sharp decline in the number of mating owls has been blamed on the exceptionally wet winter.

I guess it’s too wet to woo.

 

Finally found a way to stop the wife from sucking her thumb...

I drew a cock on it!

 

A priest, a vicar, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit, "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O," said the rabbit.

 

I've just been banned from an all you can eat buffet…….as if I haven't got enough on my plate.

 

I was at a sex education class and the female teacher said, "Anyone who wants to know how deep a woman's vagina is, please put your hand up."

"And that your honour is why I plead not guilty to the molestation charge against me!"

 

I brought a girl back to my house, took her up to my bedroom and said, "This is where the magic happens babe."

She said, "Oh really? I'm getting excited now."

So I said, "Yes. Pick a card!"

 

Was in B&Q when a stack of kitchen worktops fell on me

I think it must have been a counter attack...

 

Why is it when I tell people that I identify as roll on deodorant, they keep asking am I Sure?

 

Thread closed at the request of the OP