It was a common practice to run up behind one of the other kids and launch yourself upwards using their shoulders as the vaulting point. Fred Widall, the class fat lad, did this to someone who (unfortunately for Fred), was stood directly under a classroom doorway. Fred's head hit the underside of the doorframe at a rate of knots, and you could see the stars as he collapsed in a blubbering mass onto the floor
Our biology teacher had the miss fortune of looking like David Bellamy so had plenty of ridicule, mainly from me until one day he'd had enough and smaked me over the back of the head with a large book, foook that hurt and he got a bigger laugh than me :Wideyed:
school sucked. . teach em manners and integrity, the rest will follow. had a maths teacher that the angrier he got the more he appeared to smile. no luck mr Watt, you brought it on yerself.
Almost the same at my school.... You ran up behind someone, jumped, at the same time put your arm round their neck and sat down (mid air) it was called "The Foreshaw" named after my mates surname...
Our dinner ladies (playground police not canteen workers) were called Hitler and Mini Hitler, they spend all lunch trying to keep us out of the school and in the playground, how we thought it funny, how they despised us :Happy:
Lunchtimes.... Always go for a packed lunch, always ask for a pork pie ( I don't even like them) but, once the pastry is stripped off they're like a food hand grenade with a 2m blast radius...
A bit more rural where I was. Crow scarers were a rope based multi_explosives used by farmers. We quickly learned that these needed to be LEFT ON the rope. Each had about the same charge as a 12 bore and a 1\4 second fuse...hence the slow burning rope. You know where this is going,..each boy in my village had a completely black/blue hand learning this valuable lesson! I'm surprised we never lost any fingers.
When I was 13 we had a 20 something French teacher, actually French that wore a gypsie bra and just an oversized school jumper. She looked like Emanuel ( you know the films). I took loads of extra lessons, but language isn't my thing. She'd look into my eyes and ask me to repeat what she said, but all I ever did was make a fool of my self. She knew what she was doing!
I did this once. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to find my fingers still attached after the smoke cleared. I also got conned in to hitting one of those train track notification disc things with a sledge hammer - they make a massive bang when struck by a tain, to warn workers etc. The disc was on the floor and I was only wee so an over head throw placed my face only a few inches from the detonation at full arm extension and sent the head 9 the hammer 30 feet behind me. I got away with a lot of misbehaviour when I was a younger lad.
I'll never forget one Metalwork class where we had all prgressed to have a turn on the lathes (see what I did there?)..... The master was proud of his workshop and how clean it was kept...... Then on that particular day, one guy had clamped a long bar in the lathe and started it up....... Suddlenly the bar came out at one end and proceeded to started thrashing around in ever increasing circles at high speed......nobody could get near the damn machine to switch it off..... The guy that was using the lathe had been hit on the side of his head by the flapping end and blood was pouring everywhere...... The master finally killed the mains power in the whole workshop and ran over to the lathe..... He looked at the lathe.........."Look at all that paint!!, look at all that paint!!!"
In metal work we used to take the steel rules and carefully sharpen all the edges so that they were as sharp as razors........then put them back in the draw for the next class......... I can remember our physics teacher chasing someone around the classroom with a paddle. The lad he was chasing told him to f#@k off and ran accross the table tops. Physics teacher never did catch him. I can also remember collecting all the dead wasps from the window sills and a group of us throwing them at the dorky kid's "builder's bum", as he sat with his back to us - kind of like our version of a darts game. This was in physics but I don't think this was what led to the above.
Our Art Master used to get pissed at lunchtimes, then he would suddenly appear from a store cupboard blowing a hunting horn and waving a sabre about.
Hot welding rods through leather aprons musketeer style and snogging the metalwork tutor - this was college so may not count
Oh and the vice squad - putting overall sleeves in two vices 5' apart and leaving you there over lunch
They called me Radiator Ronnie at school. They had those big cast iron radiators that used to get red hot; I used to supplement my meagre pocket money by holding first years' hands on the red hot radiators until they handed over their dinner money...
one teacher wrote " Henry Ford said that history is bunk. I can confirm that this also applies to your son's version of history"
it wasn't all bad though. My games teacher wrote "Football - has reasonable speed when he manages to run in the right direction"
