In recent times it's been suggested that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but since all the doctors are now Muslim I find bacon works better.
my Dad called me today, to ask me to stop making jokes up about him and his new Thai bride. He doesn't appreciate it, and neither does my Dad
I went climbing last night at the local "wall". It was rammed full of university freshers. And though annoying as it meant climbing wa limited at times, some of the eye candy was well worth the wait.
I find if you do it early you just end up buying even more shit nearer the time Week before is the best time
I was walking down the street today and I saw these two blokes wearing matching outfits, right down to the same belts. I yelled out, "hey Dickheads, do you know you're wearing the exact same clothes today?" It was at this point they arrested me
I was running late for work today, and the phone rang. I answered it but before I could say anything a male voice on the line said, "Hey honey, has that dope gone yet?" I suspect my wife is selling drugs
I bought a packet of those 'Everlasting Gobstoppers' as a child and twenty-five years on they're still going strong. On closer inspection today, my wife tells me I actually bought a packet of marbles.
