The people that do not feel het urge to feel part of a group are ultra rare and require very secure surroundings.. for most , the individualisation of late, the dismantlement of local communities, the rise of the vituals ones and the increased selfreliance / freedom is more of a scrurge than a blessing. As being on oneself brings much more worries than bliss. as not many are happy with being responsible for everything in their lives. and few know the thin line / difference between being assertive and agressive... tribal instincs are integral part of who we are. It's what gives security. it's how we evolved and it's why still today people will kill their own daughters and sisters just to make sure the family will not be rejected by the community. For us, this is barbarism, and still for them being rejected from the community is a far greater threat to their security and survival than standing up to these honor-killings. another example : take youths apart and most of them are good lads... put them in a group and you have a different animal... Just to show how strong this need for belonging is...
More worries than bliss? Are you sure? I'm more than happy in the fact I live on my own and don't know my neighbours' names. Nor am I a member of any bike 'club' (do forums count?), religious sect or knitting circle. I have a wealth of friends I know where to find if I need a bit of company, but the rest of the time I'm completely comfortable going it alone. And I'm sure I'm not alone.
and what is "a wealth of friends" other the a different form of a circle... only organised in a different way?
Fig is absolutely right. Kope - for many people being surrounded by others brings far more worries than bliss. Maybe you don't know many people who actually enjoy being on their own, but could that be because they are happy being alone and don't interact with you? 75% of my working life revolves around working alone - being totally self-reliant and soley responsible for what I do. I enjoy that part of the job. As for my social life, just like Fig I have good freinds that I can call on if and when I need to, just as they know they can call on me. Meanwhile, back at the OP... I believe what I believe and I don't see a need to share that on a weekly basis... I beleive that organised religion does more harm than good - and the more I see of it, the more I believe that fact... Each to their own...
I totally agree... but what you discribe as being 'many' will finally prove to be the exception. and also : let's not confuse with the need to belong as no need for privacy... i think i'm a lot closer to you guys then may sound. But from a developement/sociological pov, man is a social beast that lives in tribes.. and the majority can only stand as much 'standing on my own' before getting stressed... that of is course is 'in general'.. me myself have very little need to go share any belief-beliefs... i must say however that this year, i sort of got my fill of a sense of belonging in the priboxes at the trackdays i did. it s amazing how such days make people of all walks of life blend .... thoutoughly enjoyed that part !
And... ( and I think Fig will agree with me on this one ) I cannot think of many things that are more boring than being surrounded by a group of people who all agree and who all think exactly thye same way as I do... Truly tedious !
Not close friends, no. But what we're talking about is a club or sect-type scenario of people meeting with the same ideals. They ain't friends.
"could you do without friends?" - What relevance does that have to religious organisations? Or to non-religious, happy-clappy, hippy meetings?
In that case, once again I agree with Fig. Proper friends - no. Everyday aquaintances - yes. As I said before, there are lots of people who can quite happily live without the need to constantly be surrounded by others. To my way of thinking it's the people who constantly need the reassurance of being surrounded by like-minded "sheep" that actually have a problem, not people who are happy to be on their own...
JR, there is no "problem" or "no problem". and lots of people can be 100 million. But there are 6,4 billion. and of those 6,4 billion the vast majority still addheres to this group feeling. Why on earth would Christians and Muslims by themselves make over 3,6 billion? and does 70% of this earth still work on tribal structures. the picking order is : Me, my family, my larger family, my friends, my mates, my village/city, country, race, religion... this genetic urge is what drives these non believers to believers like ritual gatherings...
The wish to "adhere" to a religion, particularly with Christian "high churches" or with Islam, has far more to do with social conditioning ( what some would see as brainwashing ) than a desire for social contact. The "need to belong" also stems from various social aspects - some people are born to be "tribal" hence the behaviour of football crowds; some are not. The "urge" you speak of is derived as much from social conditioning as it is from genetics. And your order of priorities is not how some people see the world - some actually believe in helping others irrespective of relationship or shared race, religion or beliefs. I do not expect everyone to agree with me - that is why I said "to my way of thinking" - but I could alos point to the social conditioning that causes people to not agree with me : of course you don't want to be on your own, when you have spent your entire life being told that fitting in and being part of a crowd is the way you must go. To quote from Trainspotting ; "Choose life... I chose not to choose life, I chose something else..."
sorry utter bollocks. People are by nature attracted to those either the same as them or how they aspire to be. Friends are no different. How did they become friends? Find a common interest - bikes, birds, heroin, God, a liking for red? You will have met countless people but for some reason, friends appeal more than the rest Human nature people you cant beat it
Utter bollocks. Humans are attracted to sights and sounds, common interests come a long way down the list.
